If You've Ever Wondered What CMADS Stands for...

One of my best friends has packed up and left St. Louis for a fabulous new job in California.  She has been about five hours away from me for the last few years and now she is…well…a lot more hours away from me.  A blog post about our friendship will not do justice to the awesomeness that is CMADS/LAPTM (more on that later), but it’s worth a shot.

When I went to orientation at Olivet Nazarene University in the summer of 2004, I didn’t have a roommate for room sign-ups.  I had been emailing a potential roommate, but she wasn’t answering my calls once we were both on campus for orientation.  I was talking to my mom about how stressed I was (having a roommate is kind of a big deal) when a girl nearby interjected, saying that she had a friend who didn’t have a roommate yet, either.  This was risky, but we eventually found our way to each other and briefly talked.

This is basically how it went down:

CAITLIN: So…What do you like to do?
LAURRYN: I really like to read.
CAITLIN: Me, too!

We went from there.  We signed up for a room in Parrott Hall.  I’m not sure how much we kept in contact before school started, but I’ll never forget walking into our room on move-in day, seeing a Five Iron Frenzy patch on Caitlin’s bag, and knowing that everything would be okay.

And it was MORE than okay.  We spent the first week eating almost all of our meals together, slowly making new friends.  Over the next four years, we did a bazillion things together.  We both found our future husbands that first semester, we went to concerts, we shopped, we threw parties, we went on trips, we planned weddings, we danced, we had silly and crazy photo sessions, we made up fake names (CMADS – Caitlin Marie Adair Dodson Sansom, containing Caitlin’s full name, fake middle name, and future last name; LAPTM stands for Laurryn Annette Patricia Trojanowski McDaniel) - we had an absolute blast.

I was one of Caitlin's maids-of-honor and Caitlin was my matron of honor, and she threw me an AMAZING baby shower (with awesome co-host Lauren) a few months ago.  We've been there for each other through thick and thin, good times and bad.  I have trouble imagining a more loyal and true friend.

I can't imagine what college would have been like without Caitlin (or the last few years since we've graduated!).  I can’t believe she is SO far away now, but I’m so proud of her for following her dreams and God’s will.  I already miss her so much!

Have fun.
Be careful.
No hickies.
Eat cookies.
Listen to Emery.
Beware of pirates.
Don't watch "Brokeback Mountain."
Don't try to lift a baby panda.
IT'S ALL JUST GOOD ADVICE.

Guest Post on the Listening Inside Out Blog!

I am honored to be a part of Church Chatter week on the Listening Inside Out blog!  Check it out here.

Three Weeks of Being a Baby Mama

I can hardly believe that I have a three-week-old daughter already!  I know that everyone says, "Time flies! They grow up so fast" but...time flies!  They grow up so fast!  I am already having to put away some of Aynsley's newborn clothes because she is getting too big for them.

I thought I'd write a post about the ups, the downs, and the unexpected things that have come up over the last three weeks.  Warning to those who are boys or related to me or a little squeamish: the word "nursing" will be mentioned several times.

1. It never occurred to me that nursing pads would be a staple in getting dressed each morning.  I pull out an outfit to wear, get shoes and accessories together, and I realize that I absolutely canNOT forget to grab two nursing pads.  I never realized how important they'd be in my daily wardrobe selection.

2. On that note, my wardrobe is seriously limited.  I have two nursing bras, three nursing tanks, one pair of too-big jeans, one pair of waistband-hits-my-incision-and-makes-me-uncomfortable jeans, two pairs of (borrowed) leggings, one dress (to go with the leggings), and one nice nursing top.  So my every day dress is the too-big jeans, a nursing tank, and a sweater or the leggings and the dress (or both, if Aynsley poops on me).  I basically wear the same two outfits every single day, except that I have three different colored nursing tanks from which to choose (wide, WIDE variety going on here).

3. As a result of my limited wardrobe, I do a LOT of small loads of laundry.  Small loads of laundry are also somewhat more manageable - if I don't get to the laundry just as the dryer finishes, I put away LESS wrinkled clothing than if I had a full load.

4. I don't really sleep when the baby sleeps (unless it's dark outside).  Honestly, I don't usually feel like I need (or even want) a nap most days.  That might sound crazy, but it's true.  I have taken a couple of naps when Aynsley's been asleep, but I usually get crazy-excited to get a bazillion things done while she's napping.  In 45 minutes, I can clean my entire house, empty and reload the dishwasher, start a load of laundry in the washer and get it into the dryer, take the dogs out, catch up on thank-you notes, check my email and facebook, return phone calls, and eat a snack.  And I feel about a billion times better than I would if I took a nap.

5. Umbilical cord stumps are seriously gross.  And when the stump finally falls off, there's a boogery blob there that still hasn't healed.  Thankfully, Aynsley's belly button has finally healed and it's quite cute.

6. Even when you put your baby in a hot pink onesie, someone will still say, "Oh, look how alert he is!"  Never fails.  Admittedly, my little one looks a lot like her daddy, but I'm making a point of making sure she's wearing something girly every time we leave the house.  Not that it ever matters.

7. Slowly, slowly, slowly, I'm becoming a pro at this mom thing.  I've been a pro at the nanny thing - getting kids in and out of stores with all their stuff, keeping them pleasant, feeding them - this has all been pretty easy thus far.  Up until now, I've always had snacks and bottles handy.  Now I'M the bottle, and I am getting more and more comfortable with nursing in front of others and going out around feeding time.

8. I'm becoming more and more impressed with what I can accomplish with one hand.  Last night, I managed to partly load the dishwasher, put away clean dishes, and put together a container of leftovers for Matt to take to work - all while holding Aynsley (I won't even tell you what I've been able to do while walking around nursing her).  This morning, I was able to put the leashes on our two dogs and take them outside while Aynsley scried (scream-cried) in my arms.

9. I can't even believe how in love I am.  There aren't any words to describe it.

10. I am feeling awesome due to being blessed beyond belief by friends and family.  Having heard so many horror stories about sleep deprivation, I prepared myself for the very worst.  I assumed that I would be in no state to drive, talk to people, take care of the dogs, etc.  As a result, I put together an information sheet for my mom with just about everything you can imagine to help her function as a result of my (potential) new-mom-absolute-craziness.  Truly, only one friend said, "Oh, no, it won't be that bad" (everyone else just kept saying really helpful things like "sleep while you can").  But, really, it hasn't been that bad.  At all.  I have been able to talk to people on the phone, talk to people in person, be friendly (at least some of the time), answer questions, write thank-you notes, journal, read...I'm fairly certain that most of what I've said and written has been comprehended by others.  We are beyond blessed to have many of our church friends bringing us meals, my mom was able to spend two weeks with us, and we have crazy awesome support from friends.  So thank you to everyone for the support, prayers, kind words, and love - things have really been awesome and I absolutely love getting to be a wife AND a mommy.

The Arrival of Our Aynsley

Our little one has finally arrived!

We are so grateful that she is finally here, healthy and happy.  I am posting her birth story so that those who care to read it may do so.

On Sunday, May 27th (one week after my due date), Matt and I went to church and were planning to attend a church picnic in the evening.  After church, Matt went home to get some sleep and I stopped to get groceries.  After I put the groceries away, I relaxed on the couch with lunch.  After lunch, I was planning to clean the house and do some laundry.  Before I got up after finishing lunch, I started having contractions.  This wasn't unusual, so I assumed they would stop once I got up.  I started working on cleaning but the contractions didn't stop.  They were still spaced quite far apart, but it didn't seem possible that I could be anywhere near labor.  I decided to see if I could sleep through any of the contractions, but they were stronger than any of the Braxton-Hicks that I had had previously.

I woke Matt up at about 3:00 and decided to take a shower, get dressed, and start getting our hospital things together.  Matt and I ate dinner and got things done in between contractions.  We took classes on the Bradley method and we utilized the relaxation techniques that we had learned as I labored.  Around 8:30 or 8:45, I took a bath to see if the water would help the contractions, but I wasn't in there long before I realized that we needed to head to the hospital.  Matt had recognized this before I even said anything and he was taking care of our dogs so that we could pack the car and leave.

We left for the hospital around 9:00.  At this point, I had only been laboring for about 6 hours and I couldn't even imagine how far dilated or effaced I might be (we had decided that I wouldn't get "checked" during my appointments, so I had no idea how far along I was at this point).  We arrived at the hospital around 9:30 and checked in.  I changed into my hospital gown and felt the urge to push during the contraction I experienced at that point (the contractions had also been double-peaking for some time).  When I got on the table to get checked, I told the nurse that, although I had only been having contractions since 3:00, I felt like I was supposed to push.  The nurse checked me and confirmed that I was 9cm dilated and that our baby was breech.  While waiting for an ultrasound machine and a doctor, they started to prep me for a c-section.  It was confirmed that the baby was breech and I was quickly moved to have the procedure done.

Aynsley Patricia McDaniel was born that evening at 10:51pm, weighing 6 pounds and 8 ounces and measuring at 21 1/2 inches.  Her name is pronounced like Ein-sley (and we understand if that takes awhile to pronounce correctly; we have been fairly certain that it would be her name for some time now).  Even though things didn't go exactly as we planned, we are so happy that our little one has arrived.  I was completely blown away by how quickly labor progressed and surprised that she had turned.  We have hope to use the Bradley method again through a vaginal delivery next time and we have no reason to think that that won't be possible.

For all the well-wishes and congratulations, thank you!  We are beyond blessed and excited about the beautiful new addition to our family.

A Pregnancy Review

As baby's birth approaches, I wanted to put together a quick post about some of my (and Matt's) thoughts related to the last several months.

1. I had no idea how AWESOME pregnancy would be.  Seeing that positive line on the pregnancy test, feeling all of baby's little stretches and kicks, seeing her during the ultrasound, watching my belly grow (and move!), to witness the outpouring of love from our family and friends...It has been amazing.

2. I had no idea how much I'd miss stuff.  One of my favorite foods is steak, and I really prefer to eat it medium rare, so the last several months have been difficult whenever I venture to Texas Roadhouse.  I also really like carnival rides, and I had to sit one out in the fall.  It broke my heart to tell my niece that I couldn't go on the ride with her (and it was one of my favorite carnival rides, often known as the Zipper), but I knew it was for the best.  I will probably have some steak shortly after giving birth and we already have an amusement park trip planned for July, so it won't be long before I get to do some of those things I've missed for so long.

3. I had no idea how weird people would think we are.  Matt and I knew going into this that we wanted to try the Bradley method, a partner-coached method of childbirth that utilizes relaxation during labor.  We took classes, read the material, and did the exercises.  I had no idea how many people would think we are crazy and a few were downright rude.  Also, I have a low-risk pregnancy and see a midwife, and a lot of people think that's totally weird.  A few assumed that I was having a home birth or going to a birthing center, which are not things that I'm opposed to, but we'll be delivering in a hospital.  Also, I'm in a 42-week practice, meaning that I could go until 42 weeks before baby is delivered.  Matt and I are extremely determined to go into labor on our own, and I will do just about anything to avoid induction, and this has been surprising to many people.  I am blessed to still be feeling pretty awesome at 39 1/2 weeks (and still sleeping through the night), so I am in no rush to meet my little girl before she is ready.  Anyway, although Matt and I are trying to stay as natural as possible, I have been surprised by how many people have been rude or have been lacking support of our decisions for our family.


4. I had no idea that I'd hear everyone's (EVERYONE'S!) opinions.  I have heard that, when you are pregnant, you get to hear everyone's opinion about everything, but I had no idea just how true that would be.  "You're so small!" "You look like you're about to pop!" "You're huge!" "How can you be full-term?"  It's so strange how differently everyone sees me. 

5. I had no idea how annoying people would be.  I would like to apologize for anyone this may offend, for I know that comments and questions are spoken with the best of intentions.  Yet I found so many people annoying!  They would ask questions related to my pregnancy and then answer with their own stories before I could respond.  Um, please don't ask if you don't actually care.  Additionally, I heard waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more birth stories than I ever cared to hear about, often from strangers.  Our waitress last weekend was particularly graphic, and I wasn't even sitting down yet.  However, the most annoying thing is probably (well-intentioned) comments of "sleep while you can."  Hold the phone, are you telling me that having children might interfere with our sleep?  My life won't be my own anymore?  This is BRAND-NEW INFORMATION.  I had no clue.  And sooooooooo many people seem to think that's actually helpful advice.

6. I have no idea how this will go, but I'm very excited.  I'm not quite ready to meet our little one yet, but I'm so excited to see what she looks like and hold her and kiss her...And put her in all the cute little outfits in her drawers!  I'm excited to see Matt with his firstborn child and see our friends and family get to interact with our special blessing.  I know that this is going to be a challenge at times, but I also have no doubt that it will be the most wonderful and rewarding thing I ever do. 

Years in Review...

In January, Matt and I celebrated our seven-year anniversary. Yes, it was just over seven years ago that Matt asked me out (via IM - super romantic ;) and I started dating my future husband. As we celebrated, just a couple weeks after finding out that a DAUGHTER will be joining us in May, I looked back at the last several years of our life together.

In 2008, Matt and I graduated from college. Shortly thereafter, he was accepted into police academy and we were married a couple of months later. Lots of firsts! First real job (uh, for Matt; I still don't think I've had a real job...), first apartment, first car...

In 2009, Matt graduated from academy and, after weeks of field training, started as an officer on his own. At the end of that summer, I started a graduate program at the University of Louisville.

In 2010, we bought our first house! What a huge relief/expenditure/blessing. A few months later, we went and found our puppies at the local animal shelter, and we still fawn all over them like we just got them.

In 2011, I graduated from the University of Louisville with my MSSW. A few months later, we found out the most amazing news - pregnant!

In 2012, we are going to extend our family and welcome an amazing little one into our family. And...who knows what else!

The past several years have brought a lot of change for us, but we have been beyond blessed to have friends and family who support and encourage us through every step. I realize that we have been through a lot (academy is overwhelming for the entire family, as are many grad programs - mine no exception), but that we have been extremely blessed with wonderful change over the course of our marriage thus far. I know that we won't always have such great summaries of the year, but I am thankful for all that we have been able to do together thus far.

And I can't wait to meet our little one and make some new memories.

The Meltdown

It finally happened.

I finally had a pregnancy meltdown. It's not that I hadn't cried in the last four months, but I had good reasons for those tears. Like reading the last Harry Potter book. Or watching the last Harry Potter movie. Or watching a best friend from college marry the love of his life.

But this was brought on by painting. I am trying to get a number of house projects done before the baby's arrival, and I am taking on the paint-related ones on my own (Matt hates to paint). While there had been plenty of spots that needed to be touched up and rooms that needed to be repainted altogether, I hadn't painted since the week we moved in, almost two years ago. Until last month, when I repainted one of our bathrooms and our laundry room.

This weekend, I took on the nursery and our living room. The nursery was fine, but as I was touching up the white ceiling and white baseboards, I fell apart. I realized there wasn't one room in the house that we could consider "done" or "perfect" and that spiraled into "nothing will ever be perfect" and "I just want everything to be perfect for when the baby gets here."

Add the paint drama to the growing to-do list to friend drama to family drama to typical stress to a busy week to an upcoming busy week to a messy house put on hold due to - you guessed it - painting and it hit.

I cried. And said, "Oh, crap, I'm gonna cry a bunch. And I was doing so well."

Thankfully, I have the best husband in the world. Matt offered to take a personal day (a personal night, in his case) in order to help me paint. So he did. And while I am still feeling very upset and overwhelmed, I am reminded that I have a wonderful husband who is with me every step of the way...As he proved today by painting, even though he hates it.

He must love me.