All I Want For Graduation Is...

I am less than three months away from being D-O-N-E-DONE with my master's degree in social work. If you have been anywhere near me in the last month or two, you know that I am ready to be D-O-N-E-DONE (not sure why I like to spell it, but it makes me feel better). So what is on my graduation gift list, you ask? I made a list like my Christmas wishlist, so enjoy!

5. A new car.
Yeah, we love our Glenn (our Corolla) and our Dwight (our Camaro) but we would happily accept the generous gift of this beauty:




What? It's just a 2011 Ford Escape Hybrid. With a $30, 045 price tag, it would be a SUPER awesome gift! Soon enough we'll start working on some kiddos to pack up in the back.

4. A new coffeepot.
Mmm...My knees get weak when I think about how beautiful one of these would look in my kitchen.
Hey, at least Walmart's selling this baby for $109.95. Pocket change compared to the SUV.

3. A Glenn Beck Extreme Insider Subscription.
Hmm, does this sound familiar? That's because this item graced my Christmas wishlist. To no avail.

2. Something sparkly.
I'm pretty easy to please. Seriously.

1. All of my favorite people in the same place at the same time.
Yeah, that one's not going to happen (unless EVERYONE that I invite is coming to my graduation party AND a few of them are coming from overseas) but at least a bunch of my favorite people will be in the same place at the same time. I'll take it.

Caiden Quotes

A brief post that will - hopefully - make you smile.

We took the boys overnight last week and two conversations with Caiden made me laugh.

Before I brought the boys home, I was putting Caiden in his carseat (the van was parked in our driveway). Then this transpired:

CAIDEN: Jesus said we can't go in the garage.
LAURRYN: We were in the garage last night, remember?
CAIDEN: Yeah, but Jesus said we can't go in the garage.
LAURRYN: Jesus didn't say anything about garages.

On the way home, I pointed out how pretty the snow looked and this is what followed:

LAURRYN: Look how pretty the snow looks! It's like God took a big jar of glitter and dumped it out all over the ground.
CAIDEN; Laurryn, God is mean.
LAURRYN: No, he's not! God is very, very nice.
(Pause)
CAIDEN: He is big?
(At this point, I'm pretty sure that Caiden is picturing God to be a big dog, like our "big dog" - Caiden's words - T'Angelo)
LAURRYN: He is very big! He is everywhere.
(Pause)
CAIDEN: He will come to ours house?
(I'm afraid that he is now terrified of God, who probably resembles a certain German Shepherd)

:)

I Had Style, I Had Flair, I Was There

That’s how I became the nanny. As you probably know, I get to spend two days per week (and countless random hours on the other days) with four amazing boys. My best friends here in Kentuckiana, Carlos and Kristen, have blessed me by letting me spend an obnoxious amount of time with their kids. Matt and I get to steal the boys overnight sometimes and we have a blast.

Camden is six years old (he’ll be seven in May) and is a genius. Colson is four years old (he’ll be five in February) and is the cutest kid alive, basically. Caiden is two years old (he’ll be three in March) and is hilarious. Christian is five months old and is absolutely adorable.

My “official” time with the boys includes meals, homework (they are homeschooled), chores, games, and naptime (actually, my unofficial time with them often includes the same). So I’m getting a great glimpse into my (as I hope) future (oh, you didn’t know that I’d love to be home with five kids? Now you do). As I stand in Carlos and Kristen’s kitchen, downing coffee and smiling at four kids (Camden and Colson are doing homework; Caiden is begging to color-code the fridge magnets, which undoubtedly will result in removing all of the magnets from the fridge, placing 6-10 magnets on the fridge, and saying, “I all done, Laurnyn;” and I’m holding the baby), I’m thinking, “Yeah, I love this. I could do this.”

Though there are days (often involving sickness, potty training, disobedience, or a combination) that I think I could NOT do this. Nevermind. What was I thinking in the first place?

Then I think that I should put this pseudo-parenting skill to good use! After all, it’s useful to “shhhhh” the seatbelt beep in our car, right? You know, it’s going off because I’m not yet buckled but driving more than five mph. I say “shhhhh” as if the beeping is Colson, making an annoying noise, and my passionate “shhhhh” will actually do something.

Or what about my innate desire to discipline others’ children just as I would those four boys? I find myself in public, nearly saying, “Do you need a timeout?” to random fussy toddlers. And my clients. And my dogs.

And I LOVE folding kids’ clothes. If Carlos and Kristen get behind in the laundry, I get giddy. Seriously. And don’t tell me to get a job at Gap Kids. It’s not the same.

I also like to sing songs while cooking. And I make the boys’ string cheeses dance at lunchtime. As long as the boys provide the music, an excellent dancer appears in the form of a string cheese. But, once the string cheese is opened, he usually exclaims (in a high-pitched voice) that he’s cold. Giggling ensues. Then, when the first bite is taken, the string cheese usually shouts, “OUCH!”

But I think my ability to turn most anything boring into something fun is pretty awesome. For example, the other day I was thinking about things that I needed to buy on my next shopping trip. Oh, I need a new toothbrush. Noothgrush. Suddenly, I’m reciting Dr. Seuss.

But that noothgrush
on my toothbrush
Well, some are nice
but he is not.

I do the same with counting. I sometimes think:

One, two, three, four
five, six, seven
eight, nine, ten.
He has eleven!
Eleven!
This is something new.
I wish I had
eleven, too!

(Can you tell that I like One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish?)

One of my clients loves to hold her monitor’s hand as they walk down the hall together. The first time I supervised her visit, she asked if she could hold my hand. Of course you can! Then I suggested that we skip, too. So we did. I came into work the other day to hear that, when she had another monitor, she requested the monitor hold hands and skip with her. The monitor said to our coordinator, “What’s up with that?” “Blame Laurryn,” our coordinator replied. Inciting fun? Guilty as charged.

Anyway, I pretty much love spending time with these four. And my clients. And kids in general. So here’s a collection of funny quotes and conversations that have brightened a number of my days:

-Scene: Colson is “helping” Caiden on the potty. I hear Colson tell Caiden he’ll be right back, and Colson comes out to me in the playroom.

COLSON: Laurryn, “pan” and “pig” sound the same.
LAURRYN: They have the same beginning sound.
COLSON: It’s “p.”
LAURRYN: You’re right.

Colson smiles at me and returns to Caiden.

-Scene: It’s lunchtime.

CAIDEN: You are a dolphin?
LAURRYN: What about a dolphin?
CAIDEN: My daddy is.
LAURRYN: Daddy is a dolphin?
CAIDEN: Yeah!

- Scene: Helping Colson with homework on the computer. Caiden runs up to me.

CAIDEN: Laurnyn?
LAURRYN: Yes, Caiden?
CAIDEN: Um, I don’t know.

-CAMDEN (to me): You smell like coffee.

-CAIDEN: My Laurnyn, I love my Laurnyn.

:)

Um, I Love My Job.

This isn't going to be a long post, just a little post to tide you over until I get to some longer upcoming posts.

I have had a pretty great last couple of weeks at my job. I work as a visitation monitor for supervised visits between parents and children. Sometimes, our clients have been separated by family services; other times, domestic violence between the parents had occurred and the parents are no longer together. These kids have experienced some serious abuse or neglect, or they may have witnessed some awful interactions.

If you didn't know, I LOVE kids, so I love my job. This week, the highlights of my work week are as follows:

1.) One of my male clients, six years old, decided to take my blood pressure with the play doctor set his brother had received as a Christmas present. He told me that my blood pressure was fine, but prescribed two Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal pieces for medicine. Yummy!

2.) Two of the girls I monitor, two and five, love to bring me items from the play kitchen. They bring me everything that they can, expecting me to balance it all on my lap. Often, something goes tumbling. This week, they also brought me two babies that I was expected to feed. They keep me busy!

3.) I was able to leave early one night last week. I regularly monitor a particular visitation (a five-year-old boy). When I left, the mom was sitting in our waiting room and I let her know that another monitor was with her son. "She's even better than I am," I told her. "I doubt that," the mother replied. "He really likes you."

4.) Last week marked the close of a case that I had monitored from the start. There had been serious domestic violence between the parents and one of the parents is mentally ill. The little girl (three when visits started, although she turned four during the course of our visits) was absolutely adorable. She was one of my favorite clients. It broke my heart to see her go, but the parents were able to arrange unsupervised visitations. It made perfect sense that this would happen - I would provide a safe environment for the child to interact with one parent and, eventually, she would start visiting outside of our agency. Still, it hurt to see her go. As she hugged me, I couldn't believe I wouldn't see her again. I had looked forward to her visit every single week. She and the parent she lived with waved to me as they drove out of the parking lot. I nearly cried - what a bittersweet moment. But I guess it's the kind of moment that I'll have to get used to in this line of work.