Oceans.

I don't know if you've heard this song, but it has really spoken to me in the last several weeks that I've heard it on the radio.  As I was sitting in our living room tonight, I was planning on putting on some music for background as I got a few things done.  I went to find the radio version but instead found a live acoustic version from the Relevant studios (I've only been a subscriber to the Relevant magazine for, oh, ten years - most of their existence).  I decided to listen to this version instead, knowing it would probably sound pretty good.

Suddenly, I was crying.  Through the entire thing.

I might be a bit hormonal, but I think this reached beyond that.  My beautiful daughter was in the room with me and, when she saw that I was crying, she asked, "Eyes?"and I said, "Yes, I'm crying.  My eyes are wet.  I need a tissue."  She got a tissue and brought it over to me.  Then she wiped my eyes.  And my nose.  And my eyes again.

And thinking about what an incredible blessing she is, thinking about God granting me the privilege of being a mother, her mother, and the mother of this little one growing inside, and hopefully the mother of future babies to come…It was all so much suddenly.

This pregnancy has been a little different than with Aynsley's…My skin has been a lot more sensitive and the heartburn has been worse, but I have still felt amazing and been in no rush (except for sheer excitement) to meet this little one.  Yet I've been more concerned that something's going to go wrong or that something serious will happen - it might just be knowing more after having one, but I've been a little more worried this time around.

This song, as it talks about deep waters, sometimes makes me think of drowning - drowning in sorrow or grief or fear.  I'm not even feeling like that but I'm afraid that I will feel like that - like something scary or heartbreaking or terrible is up ahead in my future.  And yet I'm reminded to keep my eyes above, not on the things of this world.  I'm reminded that He will bring me through anything, no matter how rough or difficult.  So this is just a brief post to share this song because I think it's so beautiful and it brings me to worship so quickly.